Online dating - is it just me?

You might have to back up to the other side of the room to tell what these photos are of. Don't worry, they're not rude! So there have been a few weeks since I posted a personal ad and created a profile looking for new friends in my life. With the possibility of dating and maybe a long term relationship. How's it all going?

Is it just me, or is this a difficult way to meet people for everyone? It could be a lot more effective if you live in a large urban centre, which I don't. Number One big issue is finding time and a way to meet up with the people you are getting good vibes from. Distance is a big barrier, and especially when driving on icy and snowy and often closed highways is the only option. Talk about frustrating. A few guys melted away long ago as the possibility of meeting in the near future faded way. No amount of road salt could thaw that big chill quick enough.

One thing that side tracked me quite a bit was something I already wrote about here; how I spent a fair bit of time learning more about myself than about the fellows. There was a big introspection time, where I tried to sort out how much to reveal about myself., what exactly to say to someone, what was I looking for in a friend...To be as honest as possible with myself and others. Desperate for some new friends, maybe I hadn't thought it all through ahead of time. As a recent widow, I wasn't planning on any of this to happen.

And then there's the whole issue of those who request or require a pile of information about you, but don't really give back to the same level. The guys who insist you should be turning on your web cam.... and they haven't even sent you one photo! Doesn't seem fair does it?

And then the "not reading the ad properly" or choosing to ignore some of the criteria you've outlined as important to you in finding a new friend. I suppose in some cases people may not realize that they are not that person that is listed in the ad. Maybe they think they are. Okay, so that doesn't bother me, if that's the case. But there were a handful of way out there responses that were just so wrong. The good thing about this type, is that is seems to be easy to break away from that contact fairly easily. Simple diplomacy and a good bye.

And what if your method of initial communication doesn't mesh well? emails, messenging, web cams, calls.... When you can't get together in the same place, you have to rely on electronic communication. I'm noticing that most guys stick to one method of communication and won't consider or switch to another. Interesting. While I think it would be interesting to maybe get a different glimpse of the person by trying another method once in awhile, not many seem willing to give it a go. I admit to not being much of a phone person, but the inflections of the voice and the ultra spontaneity of it can't be beat. So even I will pick up the phone once in awhile.

So this is a snapshot of some of my impressions. It's a lot of work. It takes time. Sometimes lots of time. Then these frustrations. Is it worth it? For sure. Just ask my new friends! I hope they would say the same thing.