Out looking for yourself
This past week has been quite a remarkable one. I registered on an online dating website, and placed one tiny ad at another classified ad website. Presumably, the idea was to scope out the single men in the region, who like me, find themselves looking for new friends. Clearly I was immersed into a busy, populated world of interactions, full of smiling faces and the odd beefcake photo. Initially the response pulled me into a fuzzy zone. A little overwhelming to say the least. There are so many fabulous people in the same situation as you are. People worth getting to know or share a laugh with. The humour seems to be the unifying glue.
Well, the sleep patterns fell apart, there was fur growing in each food container in my fridge, and the dogs were looking wistfully out the window at other dogs being walked. (Okay, it wasn't quite that bad). But the online dating scene is both fascinating and mesmerizing.
The remarkable thing is what has emerged so far from this experience. It has turned out to be very clearly an exercise in introspection. When you are not used to promoting yourself, you have to think about what to say to others. What is it that you like to do? How much do you reveal? Those direct questions flood your mind as your fingers hover over the keyboard. In the dark quiet moments though, your mind wanders over into your inner core( thus the lack of sleep).
Who am I? Where I am right now in my life? Where do I want to go? How do I get there? What do I take with me? What do I need to pick up on the way?
Out of the fuzzy fog of Week One, the A-ha! moment hit me and it's quite a powerful experience. (and just so my family doesn't freak out here - the major plan is still the same). I'm still going to the same place. Just the speed and the little twists and turns may be a little different. So for me it has been an affirmation of my dream. A very positive experience.
There will be new friends out there to travel with and to draw inspiration from. The path won't always be clear, but I can see better where I'm going now.
I hope that others going through this process get something valuable out of it. I went into it looking for someone else, and seem to have found more of myself.
(pardon me for re posting a shot I have probably shown you already -- I'm at work)